{"id":28314,"date":"2019-01-29T00:00:29","date_gmt":"2019-01-29T00:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flashpacknew.wpengine.com\/?p=28314"},"modified":"2023-09-25T11:49:06","modified_gmt":"2023-09-25T10:49:06","slug":"kids-can-wait-travelling-priority","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/solo\/relationships\/kids-can-wait-travelling-priority\/","title":{"rendered":"Why kids can wait and travelling is my priority"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

30-something digital director Matt Risley explains why \u2013 even though he’s now in a position to have kids \u2013 he’s pausing parental responsibility for now, to make travel his priority <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Not to get all \u2018Richard Curtis Movie\u2019 about it, but there are certain life markers we can all relate to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The first time you fall in love, the first time you fail hard<\/em>, the first time you achieve more than you ever thought possible. But while there are universal emotional moments that everyone will experience, there are a host of moments you\u2019re expected<\/em> to experience, including (but not limited to) getting a \u2018proper\u2019 job, buying a house, getting married, and \u2013 top of the pressure-y list \u2013 having children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yet as I approached my 30th birthday, I realised I was nowhere close. A writer (sorry, Mum and Dad), who\u2019d just been made redundant, and whose long-term relationship had broken up, I was a human car crash.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fast-forward five years later, and while most of the above has righted course, and I\u2019m now in a position to have kids, I\u2019m no closer to actually doing so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Travelling has played a big part in my desire to press pause on life\u2019s conventional path, and right now I couldn\u2019t be happier. To quote the Fresh Prince, \u2018here is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down\u2019\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back during redundancy-break-up-gate, I had a real \u2018when life gives you lemons\u2019 decision to make. While I didn\u2019t quite go \u2018full Beyonce\u2019, my lemonade moment came in the simple choice to take stock of the change, and head off travelling on a solo adventure<\/a> that would give me space, time, and enough new experiences to look at my life anew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more: The truth about being single in your 40s<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those two months taught me so much about myself, and most importantly, the things that make me happy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Take away the stresses of societal expectation, what your peers are up to (or, more specifically, the hilariously curated life everyone chooses to show on their social media), what your family think is best for you, and professional FOMO, and then replace them with fascinating new friends, experiences that\u2019ll stay with you for a lifetime, laughter-filled spontaneity, and dazzling cultures, sounds, smells and sights you never thought possible, and everything starts to refocus.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m not going to lie – returning to \u2018normal\u2019 life was a tad discombobulating. But by holding onto the memories of my adventures, I started to care less about the things I\u2019d stressed so much about in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over the last few years, over half of my close friendship group have had children. While everyone\u2019s experience is different, general rule of thumb is that those who truly wanted kids for their own personal reasons are happier than those who did so because they felt it was the right thing to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s value in everything, and the reality is that human nature is inherently grass is always greener, no matter your situation. My \u2018settled\u2019 friends are envious of my travels, while I can feel envious of the love they have for their kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then that\u2019s the other thing no-one really talks about \u2013 I may not have had kids by the age of 34, but I still have all the time in the world. I\u2019m very aware that my biological clock may not be ticking as much as a woman\u2019s, but we\u2019re lucky enough to live in a world where we all have options beyond the standard pregnancy route.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Read more: Hiking the Everest trail helped lift my depression<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If your core focus is raising a child and giving them a good, happy life, then adoption, IVF and fostering are all equally as valid. I met one woman travelling who was in her early 50s, single, and about to embark on IVF treatment as soon as she returned home. She\u2019s living her life on her own terms, and choosing a path that works for her. And she\u2019s all the happier for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Each time I travel and meet people like her, and experience things outside of my norm, my horizons broaden a little, and along with them, the expectations I put upon my own life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pressing pause on having kids so you can travel isn\u2019t saying \u2018never\u2019. It\u2019s just saying that right now I\u2019d prefer to spend my downtime jumping out of planes, swimming with sharks, drinking margaritas as the sun sets, meeting people from different cultures, and leaping into every life opportunity with none of the parental responsibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

All life experiences that I think will make me a more cultured, empathetic, happy, and wise parent than I would\u2019ve been five years ago. Well, that is, if I actually have<\/em> kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n\n\n\n

Live for travel with these three brilliant adventures<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Tube down Palomino River in Colombia<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

… in the depths of the jungle wilderness. Plus, discover Medell\u00edn, “city of eternal spring”, kayak across a reservoir and learn to salsa over rum-tasting in Cartagena.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whoop! Let’s go<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Join a walking safari in Tanzania<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Wildebeest<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Witness uninterrupted views of the wildebeest migration on Flash Pack’s Tanzania adventure<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Spot Africa\u2019s wealth of wildlife up close with a dawn bush walk across the open Savannah and see the impressive wildebeest migration. Follow up with bucket-list game drives and a dreamy day’s sailing around the island of Zanzibar, and you’ll be set for life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Count me in<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Island-hop the Philippines beaches<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"Beaches\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Spend two days glamping on a secret cove in the Bacuit Archipelago, with a private chef and beach barbecue at the ready. Then, quad-bike your way across the Chocolate Hills and go paddle-boarding down Loboc River.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hello, happiness<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Images: Shutterstock\/Instagram<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

30-something digital director Matt Risley explains why \u2013 even though he’s now in a position…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21,"featured_media":80909,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9032],"tags":[107,464,433,768,443,491,362,465,434,3535,2329,498,457,339,384],"class_list":["post-28314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-relationships","tag-adventure","tag-discover","tag-escape","tag-experience","tag-explore","tag-fulfillment","tag-group-adventure","tag-group-travel","tag-happiness","tag-life-goals","tag-life-in-your-30s","tag-purpose","tag-relationships","tag-solo-travel","tag-travelling-alone"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=28314"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28314\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/80909"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=28314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=28314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.flashpack.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=28314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}