As a single mom, I’m always on. But in Italy, I found soulful time alone

My son, Waylon, is six years old and I’ve been a single mom for most of his life. I separated from his dad shortly after he was born, and he later died. So, all the decisions and life lessons – all that constant worry that parenting brings with it, and the ferrying from A to B – that’s on me.

It’s a huge weight but the prize is my son. Waylon is such a great kid, and I thank God every day for that. We have such a good relationship – he’s my little best friend. We do everything together. Luckily, my parents also live close by in our hometown of Orange Beach, Alabama, and they’ve been wonderful. They love their grandson, and my Dad is a sounding board for any number of issues.

As Waylon’s grown older, I’ve started to carve out moments for myself again. If I’ve decided to do something, I’m not the kind of person to wait around for someone to go with me. In the past year or so, I’ve gone to concerts by myself and joined a local group to go hiking in Utah. Finally, I decided that time had come for a solo trip abroad. I wanted to go see the world.

Being a single mom is a lot. I have to take care of myself

Flash Pack’s South Italy trip caught my eye on Instagram. The Amalfi coastline is so romantic and beautiful, and I love Italian food. I even have Italian heritage. Plus, with Flash Pack, all the homework is done for you, using local knowledge. So I knew I wouldn’t be stuck trying to figure things out for myself.

I liked the idea of traveling with other people in their 30s and 40s, too. I didn’t want to end up partying with 20-somethings every night. Doing my research, it was refreshing to hear from people who’d booked Flash Pack trips again and again. It made me feel secure in choosing a trip, like I’d found the perfect match.

My favorite experience was our private boat ride to Capri

My family and I travel to the Caribbean island of Aruba every summer, but I’ve never been to Europe before – let alone on my own, with a group of strangers. As a week-long trip, my Italy vacation would be the longest time I’d ever spent away from my son since he was born. It was challenging. Yet, I knew instinctively that it was something that I needed to do. 

Being a single mom, I have to take care of myself, emotionally and mentally, in order to show up as the best parent I can be. I need to check out once in a while. And my parents, who looked after Waylon while I was away, were fully behind my decision. Their attitude was, “You do what you need to do.”

I cried when the moment came to say goodbye to Waylon, but I had to lock it up quickly – he couldn’t see me being upset. Once I got to Atlanta airport, waiting for my connection to Paris (and then onwards to Naples), I was able to relax a bit. I was like, “OK, this is my journey: my vacation has started now. It’s time to fill my cup.”

I was a world away, a more relaxed and rested version of myself

Right from the offset, my time in Italy was filled with pinch-me moments. Arriving in the town of Sant’Agnello, on the Sorrentine Peninsula, I was blown away by the views. There aren’t any mountains where I live, so being able to look out over the Bay of Naples, with Mount Vesuvius in the distance, was overwhelming. I could hardly believe how gorgeous it was. 

Later on, we got to meet our group. I’m a people person and I can talk to anybody, so I wasn’t nervous about traveling with strangers. If anything, it was a nice change from my daily life, where I work from home and don’t have much interaction. 

Everyone in the group got along great, too. I was never in a position where I was annoyed to be sitting next to someone because I really enjoyed everyone. I had two separate roommates, and I like them both a lot. We were led by our Pack Leader, Eleanora, who was so energetic and knowledgeable. Since it was only her second time leading the trip, she’d gone to the effort of researching lots of little places along the way – for a really local, neighborhood vibe.

Learning how to cook locally was a soul-nourishing moment

Wherever we went, I tried to indulge in local cuisine and whatever a particular town was known for. Rather than ordering regular pizza, for example, I tried things like buffalo ragu with homemade pasta. Or mussels, clam and shrimp risotto from the catch of the day in Capri. Oh my gosh, that was delicious! 

I really loved our cooking class in Alberobello, too. The setting was fun and intimate, with floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the town’s famous UNESCO Trulli houses. It was raining a little bit, which made it even more breathtaking. We could look out onto this landscape dotted with prehistoric huts, while learning to make Puglian dishes like Orecchiette pasta and Focaccia.

The scenery in general was stunning. I get goosebumps even now thinking about the first time we saw the town of Positano, with its Roman-era villas spiralling down the seaside cliffs. 

It took some courage to go overseas alone, but I’m so glad I did

My favorite experience was our private boat ride to Capri. The morning started out overcast but the moment we stepped foot on the island, the sun came out. A few of us stayed there, right on the beach, for drinks and food with a view. On the way back, we stopped for a swim near the Faraglioni di Mezzo, one of Capri’s iconic rock formations. The water was cold but clear and so refreshing. And the cave was out-of-this-world beautiful.

Back home, every day I spend in mom mode involves some over-stimulation. I’m constantly thinking, “I’ve got to pick my son up at this time and get him to practice. Oh and I can’t forget his bat.” Things like that. So, having a whole week not to worry meant I became a little more relaxed and at peace. I was a world away, knowing my parents would handle everything. And that time out – filled with soul-nourishing moments – enabled me to come back a more relaxed and rested version of myself.

I was so excited to see Waylon again, I cried (and this time I could show it!) He got lots of presents and I showed him all my photos. One of the first things he said was, “Mama, one day, can I go to Italy?” Of course, I promised him that we would. 

In the Amalfi, I found a little slice of adventure to sustain me

It took some courage to go overseas alone, but I’m so glad I did it. I’m a big believer in the idea that, in order to have a happy household, I need to recharge now and again. I’ve very deliberately chosen to raise Waylon in a small town environment, but I can get a little bored sometimes. Doing trips like this means I can find a little slice of adventure to sustain me, and continue being a good mom. In the future, I’ll travel more with Waylon, too. It’s not something I’ll ever regret.

Juliet Laney is a controller and single mom based in Orange Beach, Alabama. She traveled with Flash Pack to the Amalfi region of Italy.

Images: Adobe, Unsplash/Sander Crombach, courtesy of Juliet Laney